awakening, day 5

Come to Stillness:

Take a few minutes to allow your mind and heart to be still before God.

Opening Prayer:

Lord, awaken me, you whose love burns beyond the stars; light the flame of my lantern that I may always burn with love. (A Traveler Toward the Dawn by John Eagan)

Psalm for the Week: Psalm 28

Scripture for the Day: Luke 24:13-35

Reading for Reflection:

He now knew the way to Anvard but of course he could not go there: that would only mean running into the arms of Rabadash’s troopers.  “What on earth am I to do?” said Shasta to himself.  But he remounted his horse and continued along the road he had chosen, in the faint hope of finding some cottage where he might ask for shelter and a meal.  He had thought, of course, of going back to Aravis and Bree and Hwin at the hermitage, but he couldn’t because by now he had not the least idea of the direction.

     “After all,” said Shasta, “this road is bound to get somewhere.”

     But that all depends on what you mean by somewhere.  The road kept on getting to somewhere in the sense that it got to more and more trees, all dark and dripping, and to colder and colder air.  And strange, icy winds kept blowing the mist past him though he never blew it away.  If he had been used to mountain country he would have realized that this meant he was now very high up—perhaps right at the top of the pass.  But Shasta knew nothing about mountains.

     “I do think, said Shasta, “that I must be the most unfortunate boy that ever lived in the whole world.  Everything goes right for everyone except me.  Those Narnian lords and ladies got safe away from Tashbaan; I was left behind.  Aravis and Bree and Hwin are all as snug as anything with that old Hermit: of course I was the one who was sent on.  King Lune and his people must have got safely into the castle and shut the gates long before Rabadash arrived, but I get left out.”

     And being very tired and having nothing inside him, he felt so sorry for himself that the tears rolled down his cheeks.

     What put a stop to all this was a sudden fright.  Shasta discovered that someone or somebody was walking beside him.  It was pitch dark and he could see nothing.  And the Thing (or Person) was going so quietly that he could hardly hear any footfalls.  What he could hear was breathing.  His invisible companion seemed to breathe on a very large scale, and Shasta got the impression that it was a very large creature.  And he had come to notice this breathing so gradually that he had really no idea how long it had been there.  It was a horrible shock.

     It darted into his mind that he had heard long ago that there were giants in these Northern countries.  He bit his lip in terror.  But now that he really had something to cry about, he stopped crying.

     The Thing (unless it was a Person) went on beside him so very quietly that Shasta began to hope he had only imagined it.  But just as he was becoming quite sure of it, there suddenly came a deep, rich sigh out of the darkness beside him.  That couldn’t be imagination!  Anyway, he had felt the hot breath of that sigh on his chilly left hand.

     If the horse had been any good—or if he had known how to get any good out of the horse—he would have risked everything on a breakaway and a wild gallop.  But he knew he couldn’t make that horse gallop.  So he went on at a walking pace and the unseen companion walked and breathed beside him.  At last he could bear it no longer.

     “Who are you?” he said, scarcely above a whisper.

     “One who has waited long for you to speak,” said the Thing.  It’s voice was not loud, but very large and deep.

     “Are you—are you a giant?” asked Shasta.

     “You might call me a giant,” said the Large Voice.  “But I am not like the creatures you call giants.”

     “I can’t see you at all,” said Shasta, after staring very hard.  Then (for an even more terrible had come into his head) he said, almost in a scream, “You’re not—not something dead are you?  Oh please—please do go away.  What harm have I ever done to you?  Oh, I am the unluckiest person in the whole world!”

     Once more he felt the warm breath of the Thing on his hand and face.  “There,” it said, “that is not the breath of a ghost.  Tell me your sorrows.”

     Shasta was a little reassured by the breath: so he told how he had never known his real father or mother and had been brought up sternly by the fisherman.  And then he told the story of his escape and how they were chased by the lions and forced to swim for their lives; and of all their dangers in Tashbaan and about his night among the tombs and how the beasts howled at him out of the desert.  And he told about the heat and thirst of their desert journey and how they were almost at their goal when another lion chased them and wounded Aravis.  And also, how very long it was since he had had anything to eat.

     “I do not call you unfortunate,” said the Large Voice.

     “Don’t you think it was bad luck to meet so many lions?” said Shasta.

     “There was only one lion,” said the Voice.

     “What on earth do you mean?  I’ve just told you there were at least two the first night, and—“

     “There was only one: but he was swift of foot.”

     “How do you know?”

     “I was the lion.”  And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued.  “I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis.  I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead.  I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept.  I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time.  And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.”

     “Then it was you who wounded Aravis?”

     “It was I.”

     “But what for?”

     “Child,” said the Voice, “I am telling you your story, not hers.  I tell no one any story but his own.”

     “Who are you?” asked Shasta.

     “Myself,” said the Voice, very deep and low so that the earth shook: and again “Myself,” loud and clear and gay: and then the third time “Myself,” whispered so softly you could hardly hear it, and yet it seemed to come from all around you as if the leaves rustled with it.

     Shasta was no longer afraid that the Voice belonged to something that would eat him, nor that it was the voice of a ghost.  But a new and different sort of trembling came over him.  Yet he felt glad too.

     The mist was turning from black to gray and from gray to white.  This must have begun to happen some time ago, but while he had been talking to the Thing he had not been noticing anything else.  Now, the whiteness around him became a shining whiteness; his eyes began to blink.  Somewhere ahead he could hear birds singing.  He knew the night was over at last.  He could see the mane and ears and head of his horse quite easily now.  A golden light fell on them from the left.  He thought it was the sun.

     He turned and saw, pacing beside him, taller than the horse, a Lion.  The horse did not seem to be afraid of it or else could not see it.  It was from the Lion that the light came.  No one ever saw anything more terrible or beautiful. (A Horse and His Boy by C. S. Lewis)

Reflection and Listening: silent and written

Prayer: for the church, for others, for myself

Song for the Week: Crown Him With Many Crowns

Crown him with many crowns, the Lamb upon his throne.
Hark! How the heavenly anthem drowns all music but its own.
Awake, my soul, and sing of him who died for thee,
and hail him as thy matchless King through all eternity.

Crown him the Lord of love, behold his hands and side,
those wounds, yet visible above, in beauty glorified.
No angel in the sky can fully bear that sight,
but downward bends his burning eye at mysteries so bright.

Closing Prayer:
O God and Father, I repent of my sinful preoccupation with visible things. The world has been too much with me. You have been here and I knew it not. I have been blind to Your presence. Open my eyes that I may behold You in and around me. For Christ’s sake, Amen. (The Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer)