broken, day 5

Come to Stillness: Take a few minutes to allow your mind and heart to be still before God.

Opening Prayer:
O persistent God,

deliver me from assuming your mercy is gentle.

Pressure me that I may grow more human,

not through the lessening of my struggles,

but through the expansion of them…

Deepen my hurt

until I learn to share it and myself openly,

and my needs honestly.

Sharpen my fears until I name them

and release the power I have locked in them

and they in me.

Accentuate my confusion

until I shed those grandiose expectations

that divert me from the small, glad gifts

of the now and the here and the me.

Expose my shame where it shivers,

crouched behind the curtains of propriety,

until I can laugh at last

through my common frailties and failures,

laugh my way toward becoming whole.

(Guerrillas of Grace by Ted Loder)

Psalm for the Week: Psalm 31

Scripture for the Day: Luke 22:54-62

Reading for Reflection:

 

The first response, then, to our brokenness is to face it squarely and befriend it.  This may seem quite unnatural.  Our first, most spontaneous response to pain and suffering is to avoid it, to keep it at arm’s length; to avoid, circumvent or deny it.  Suffering—be it physical, mental or emotional—is almost always experienced as an unwelcome intrusion into our lives, something that should not be there.  It is difficult, if not impossible, to see anything positive in suffering; it must be avoided away at all costs.

     When this is, indeed, our spontaneous attitude toward brokenness, it is no surprise that befriending it seems, at first, masochistic.  Still, my own pain in life has taught me that the first step to healing is not a step away from the pain, but a step toward it.  When brokenness is, in fact, just as intimate a part of our being as our chosenness and our blessedness, we have to dare to overcome our fear and become familiar with it.  Yes, we have to find the courage to embrace our own brokenness, to make our most feared enemy into a friend and to claim it as an intimate companion.  I am convinced that healing is often so difficult because we don’t want to know the pain.  Although this is true of all pain, it is especially true of the pain that comes from a broken heart.  The anguish and agony that result from rejection, separation, neglect, abuse and emotional manipulation serve only to paralyze us when we can’t face them and keep running away from them.  When we need guidance in our suffering, it is first of all guidance that leads us closer to our pain and makes us aware that we do not have to avoid it, but can befriend it. (Life of the Beloved by Henri J. M. Nouwen)

 

Reflection and Listening: silent and written

Prayer: for the church, for others, for myself

Song for the Week: Come Ye Sinners

Come, ye sinners, poor and needy,
Weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity, love and power.

I will rise and go to Jesus,
He will embrace me in His arms;
In the arms of my dear Savior,
O there are ten thousand charms.
Come, ye thirsty, come, and welcome,
God’s free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh.

Come, ye weary, heavy laden,
Lost and ruined by the fall;
If you tarry till you’re better,
You will never come at all.


Closing Prayer
Now,
O Lord,
calm me into a quietness
that heals
and listens,
and molds my longings
and passions,
my wounds
and wonderings
into a more holy
and human
shape.
(Guerrillas of Grace by Ted Loder)