broken, day 3

Come to Stillness: Take a few minutes to allow your mind and heart to be still before God.

Opening Prayer:
O persistent God,

deliver me from assuming your mercy is gentle.

Pressure me that I may grow more human,

not through the lessening of my struggles,

but through the expansion of them…

Deepen my hurt

until I learn to share it and myself openly,

and my needs honestly.

Sharpen my fears until I name them

and release the power I have locked in them

and they in me.

Accentuate my confusion

until I shed those grandiose expectations

that divert me from the small, glad gifts

of the now and the here and the me.

Expose my shame where it shivers,

crouched behind the curtains of propriety,

until I can laugh at last

through my common frailties and failures,

laugh my way toward becoming whole.

(Guerrillas of Grace by Ted Loder)


Psalm for the Week: Psalm 31

Scripture for the Day: Genesis 32:22-32

Reading for Reflection:

“Heel grabber” is what Jacob’s name means, a name you would expect of a wrestler.  Jacob’s entire life up till now was spent calculating his next move and maneuvering to a position of advantage so he could pry from God’s hands so many of the blessings that God in time had wanted to give him anyway.

     Now it was God’s turn to grab Jacob’s heel, to wrestle with this fundamental flaw in his nature, and touch him in a way so he would never forget the encounter.  Through the ordeal, Jacob learned that God’s blessing comes not from grabbing but from clinging.

     There is something of Jacob in all of us, I think.  If so, there must be a night of reckoning for us as well.  A night when God finds us alone, grabs us, throws us to the ground, and wrestles with that fundamental flaw in our character.  In that dark night of the soul, though He cripples us in the dawn He blesses us.

     For some of us, the crippling is the blessing. (Reflections on the Word by Ken Gire)

Reflection and Listening: silent and written

Prayer: for the church, for others, for myself

Song for the Week: Come Ye Sinners

Come, ye sinners, poor and needy,
Weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity, love and power.

I will rise and go to Jesus,
He will embrace me in His arms;
In the arms of my dear Savior,
O there are ten thousand charms.
Come, ye thirsty, come, and welcome,
God’s free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh.

Come, ye weary, heavy laden,
Lost and ruined by the fall;
If you tarry till you’re better,
You will never come at all.


Closing Prayer
Now,
O Lord,
calm me into a quietness
that heals
and listens,
and molds my longings
and passions,
my wounds
and wonderings
into a more holy
and human
shape.
(Guerrillas of Grace by Ted Loder)