Scripture: Matthew 16:13-23
Journal: Which of these two episodes in the life of Simon Peter best describes
your current reality? Do you feel more
like a rock or a stumbling block these days? What does it mean for you to keep in mind
the things of God? How will you try
to practice that?
Reflection:
Isn’t that just the very nature of life; one
minute you are cruising along, on top of the world, and the next you are
reeling and staggering, trying desperately just to hang on. One minute you are
being called a rock and being praised for the wisdom and insight that has been
given to you, and the next you are being called a stumbling block and being
rebuked that you are not thinking about the things of God, but about the things
of man. How do things change from one to the other so quickly? It’s a rollercoaster ride. It’s maddening. Yet, it is our reality.
Maybe the key to consistency
and faithfulness in our lives with God comes from one simple
practice—prayer. And not just any type
of prayer, but the type of prayer that is unceasing, the type that involves keeping
in mind the things of God. The type
of prayer that makes us constantly aware of God’s presence and attentive to his
desires. Maybe when I pay regular
attention to God in prayer, I will not swing quite so wildly back and forth.
As Henri Nouwen once wrote: “Moods
are worth my attention. I am discovering
during these first weeks in Genesee that I am subject to very different moods,
often changing very quickly. Feelings of
depressive fatigue, of low self-esteem, of boredom, feelings also of anger,
irritation, and direct hostility, and feelings of gratitude, joy, and
excitement—they can all be there, sometimes even during one day.
I have the feeling that these quickly
changing moods show how attached I really am to the things given me: a friendly
gesture, pleasant work, a word of praise, a good book, etc. Little things can quickly change sadness into
joy, disgust into contentment, and anger into under-standing or compassion.
Somewhere during these weeks I read that
sadness is the result of attachment.
Detached people are not the easy victims of good or bad events in their
surroundings and can experience a certain sense of equilibrium. I have the feeling that this is an important
realization for me. When my manual work
does not interest me, I become bored, then quickly irritated and sometimes even
angry, telling myself that I am wasting my time. When I read a book that fascinates me, I
become so involved that time runs fast, people seem friendly, my stay here
worthwhile, and everything one big happy event.
Of course both “moods” are manifestations
of false attachments and show how far I am from a healthy form of
“indifference.”
Thinking about all of this, I guess my
main problem still is that I have not really made prayer my priority.”
Prayer
Closing Prayer:
Behold, Lord, an empty vessel that needs to be
filled. My Lord, fill it. I am weak in the faith; strengthen thou me. I am cold
in love; warm me and make me fervent that my love may go out to my neighbor. I
do not have a strong and firm faith; at times I doubt and am unable to trust
thee altogether. O Lord, help me. ~Martin Luther
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