Scripture: 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Journal: What would it look like in your life to stop trying to be strong and to
embrace weakness? How would this give
God the opportunity to be strong in and through you?
Reflection: It is amazing to me, as I look back on my life, how much time and
energy I have invested in trying to appear strong. I don’t know, maybe it is my insecurity, the
deep-seated fear that I am not strong, that actually drives me in this
direction. Or maybe it is my immense
need for affirmation, the overwhelming desire that lives within me for others
to at least think that I’m strong, even if I know the truth. Who knows?
Whatever the case, a good bit of my life has been lived in an effort to
prove to myself and my world that I am strong—physically, mentally,
emotionally, and spiritually. But it is
a charade that I cannot possibly keep up.
I guess that’s why these
verses scare me to death. I do not like
weakness. In particular, I do not like my
weakness. Thus, much of my life has been
lived with the commitment to never let anyone see me as weak. Therefore, I only tend to operate in my areas
of strength. The problem is that when I
do that I miss out completely on the ability to fully experience the power of God and the sufficiency
of his grace. If I am taking up all the
room, there is no room for him to move and to act. If I am sufficient, I never need him to be. And everyone thinks I’m awesome in the
process.
But what a life that leads
to—always trying to prove my own sufficiency so I will never really be in need
of his. Trying to prove that I am
enough, while, at the same time, always knowing at my core that I am really not. It is absolutely exhausting. But I would rather be exhausted, it seems,
than admit that I am weak, that I am in need of God’s strength, and that my
only sufficiency lies in the sufficiency of his grace alone.
So I am trying to
embrace—rather than resist, ignore, or deny—my weakness these days. After all, it is the only avenue to
experiencing God’s power and strength.
For in God’s economy, it is only when I am weak that I am strong. Kind of makes me wonder why I spend so much
time and energy trying to convince myself and my world otherwise.
Prayer
Closing
Prayer: Lord Jesus, I am so tired of trying to prove
that I’m strong, when I know otherwise.
I am weak. And that weakness is
actually the path to life. It is the way
I experience your power and your love and your strength. Help me, Lord Jesus, to learn how to embrace
my weakness, that one day I might actually learn what it means to live by your strength. Amen.
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