Years ago I was finishing up a month-long
program assignment at a Young Life camp in Colorado. At the end
of our time together my Camp Director (who was a dear friend that knew me well)
pulled me aside for my evaluation. "You did such a great job."
he said. "The creativity and quality of your work were simply
outstanding. I do, however, have one observation. It seemed like
you felt like you had to be present at everything in order for it to
go well. I wonder if you trust God much more in your presence, than you
do in your absence." And he was absolutely right. Somehow
I had convinced myself that in order for God to really work, I had to be a part
of it. Who knows, maybe I was afraid it wouldn't go well if I was not
around, and maybe I was even more afraid that it would.
The
painful reality is that we tend to take ourselves, and our contributions to the
work of God's kingdom, way more seriously than we probably should.
It is a grace and a gift that God chooses to use us for a time, and
while are here (wherever here may be) God desires us to be fully
engaged and invested. And we are. The problem comes when we begin
to believe that we are somehow essential to God's long-term effectiveness
in our own little corner of the world--and maybe in one way we are. But
in a much larger way, we are not. We are only one tiny piece of
a great big whole. That is not to minimize our contributions, or our
efforts in the direction of his kingdom, it is simply meant to remind us that
God is the key component, not us. God is the Eternal One, not us.
God is the focal point, not us. And that is not meant to demean or
diminish us, it is meant to set us free.
A
couple of days ago I was reading an article in our local newspaper about one of
the co-head coaches (the wife of a husband-wife duo) of the softball
program at the University of Tennessee. In the article, as she was
describing why the softball program was so successful (currently the most
successful program in the entire athletic department) she said, "I don't
know how to say this, but neither of us need this. We want to do this,
but it's not like we have to do this. I think that is what makes it so
fun for us. I think that is why I can do what I do now, and I don't
get all crazy about it. I want to win. I love to win, and I am
super competitive. But it's not like if I don't win a championship I
won't die happy. I am out here every year trying, but it's really all
about growing these young women. That is what's important to
me." And there it is. It is all about operating out of a place
of desire rather than a place of need.
God
desires that our lives and our ministries flow out of joyful desire, rather
than needy dysfunction; out of the overflow of his love and affection, rather
than the scarcity of our own need to be significant and to make an
impact. And somehow remembering that he is from everlasting to
everlasting and we are like flowers of the field is meant
to free us up to do just that. For if we are driven by our own need,
rather than by his immense love, things turn ugly really quick. For it is
not we who are essential, but him. Only him. Thanks be to
God!
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