Opening Prayer:
Lord
Jesus, help me to love you with all that is within me. Be the center of my universe and enable my
whole life to revolve around you. I love
you, O Jesus, my Lord and Savior. Amen.
Scripture: John 21:1-18
Journal: Where do you find yourself in this story? How does it speak to your own?
Reflection:
The first time he saw her was across a bonfire at a
friend’s house after a football game.
She was there with a friend of a friend and caught his eye right off the
bat. As a matter of fact, he just
couldn’t take his eyes off of her. It
wasn’t just because she was beautiful—which she absolutely was—but it was so
much more than that. It was more of a
quality about her: the way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way she carried
herself. She had it, whatever it was. And whatever it was, it came from somewhere
deep within her; almost as if there was an inner well bubbling up from her very
heart and soul. He could see it in
everything she did: in the way she listened, and in the way she talked, and in
the way she cared for people—treating them as if they were the only person in
the world at that moment. There was just
something about her; a depth and beauty that he had never seen in anyone else.
It took him about thirty minutes, but he
finally worked up the nerve to go over and talk to her. And when he did, it was like talking to
someone he had known all of his life, the conversation was so easy and
comfortable—so good. He got her number
and asked if he could give her a call sometime, and when she said yes something
leapt deep within him. Well one call led
to another, and another, and before he knew it he had asked her out. Their first date was the most amazing he’d
ever had, not so much because of what they did, but because of the way she
seemed to bring out the very best in him.
It was almost like he had come home, to a home he had never known before
but had been searching for his entire life.
In fact the only word that could come close to describing the way she
made him feel was full; she just brought him to life inside.
Well one date turned into three, and then
to five, and before he knew it they had been dating for six months. It was different than any relationship he’d
ever had. They talked for hours at a
time about things that really mattered; no games, no pretense, no drama. And the most amazing thing was that they were
also able to just be together without feeling the need to talk at all;
comfortable with just being together in silence. He had never felt that way with anyone
before—much less a girl. This
relationship was just different, in the very best sense of the word.
One night, as winter was turning to
spring, they were lying on the trampoline in her back yard looking up at the
stars and enjoying just being together, when she asked him a question: “What do
you think it means to be in love?” The
question surprised him with its innocence and honesty. It wasn’t something that he had not wondered
about himself from time to time; especially since he had met her. For a moment he was silent, not really
knowing what to say, until he uttered the classic male response, “Uh, I don’t
know.” He then quickly recovered by
adding, “What does it mean to you?” She
thought for a moment, looking far off into the stars, and said, “I think it
means that you are willing to give that person, and that person alone, all of
you, every bit of yourself, your whole heart—no holding back. When I tell someone I love them it means that
I am committing my entire heart, soul, and life to them
completely…forever. And if they want to
be with me, if they are really in love with me, I expect them to do the same.”
As she spoke, he knew at his core that
what she was saying was right and true, it was the kind of love he most deeply
longed for and dreamt about, but something about it scared him to death. Was he really capable of loving someone like
that? Did he really have what it
takes? Was he willing to enter into that
type of relationship with someone…forever?
Something in him desperately wanted to believe he could, and something
in him wanted to run away.
Then she turned to him with one of the
purest and most innocent looks he had ever seen; so pure and innocent that he
knew he was not worthy of it. And as her
eyes looked deeply into his, she uttered the words, “I love you.” He was in complete shock. She immediately put her hands to his lips and
said, “Don’t say a word. I don’t want
you to say anything right now. I just
wanted you to know how I feel.”
A few minutes later he was in his car on
the way home, trying to process all that had just happened. It was so confusing, so scary. He didn’t know what to say or what to do, so
he made his typical decision…he did nothing.
He didn’t text. He didn’t
call. He didn’t go to see her. He was paralyzed. Before he knew it a week had gone by and he still
hadn’t communicated with her at all. He
just didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing.
It had now been two weeks since the
conversation on the trampoline, and he was out with some friends at an outdoor
concert downtown, when he ran into an old girlfriend. In fact, she was the girl he had been dating
before he went to that fateful bonfire.
This old girlfriend was nothing particularly special. He didn’t love her. He never had, but she was easy—comfortable to
be around and never really demanding anything of him. From the day he broke up with her she had
wanted to get back together; always promising him that if he would start seeing
her again she would not require or expect anything of him. In fact, she would allow him to go wherever
he wanted and do whatever he desired…even go out with other girls. She just wanted to get back together; and
told him that again on this night. So
now he had a decision to make: to go with the one that brought him to life like
no one ever had but demanded all of his love in return, or go with the one that
he didn’t love, but was easy to date and demanded nothing from him.
A couple more weeks went by and he was
sitting at the mall thinking about all that had happened over the past eight
months, when suddenly he got a text from her.
It said: “i still luv u. i can
forgive and forget the past, but nothing has changed. i still want all of you, or nothing at
all." As soon as he finished
reading the text he looked up and there she was, standing right in front of
him. She looked deeply into his eyes and
asked him THE question, “Do you love me?”
I would love to tell you what he said to
her, but I can’t. Only you can do that,
because he is you. That’s
what this story is really all about—you and God. The God who is wildly and passionately in
love with you, the God that made you for relationship with himself, stands before
you this day and asks you that very same question. Do you truly love me? You are my Beloved, am
I yours? His love is totally free, but
loving him back requires all of your heart and soul. So what's your answer?
Prayers
Closing Prayer: O Jesus, you are my life, you are my Beloved,
you are my everything. I love you. Amen.
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