torn to pieces

Opening Prayer: O Lord, forgive me when I am more concerned with being comfortable than I am with being godly.  I realize that godliness never comes easy, so whatever it takes to make me into the person you made me to be, help me be open to that.  Amen.

Scripture: Hosea 6:1-2

Journal: How is God tearing you to pieces these days that he might heal and restore you?  Do you trust him in that?

Reflection: “Come, let us return to the Lord.  He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.  After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence.” (Hosea 6:1-2)

There is a tearing to pieces that comes from love and results in healing and restoration.  It is a tender but severe tearing, a stripping away of all that binds and hinders and enslaves.  It is a tearing that feels like death, but is really life, because it involves the stripping away of all that is false, in order to leave only what is true and beautiful.  That’s the kind of tearing and injuring God does when we are courageous enough to return to him.  It is a tearing and an injuring that helps us become all that he dreamt us to be.  So when you find yourself in his crosshairs, do not be afraid.  What is happening to you might feel like death, but it is really life.  Ultimately, it is both good and beautiful.

Prayer

Closing Prayer: O Lord, I realize that in order to make me all you desire me to be, sometimes that is going to involve the tearing away of all that is not you.  All I ask is that you be as gentle as possible with me and give me the courage and the trust to stand up under it.

emptying

Opening Prayer: In all those dark moments, O God, grant that I may understand that it is you who are painfully parting the fibers of my being in order to penetrate to the very marrow of my substance. —Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Scripture: Mark 8:34-37

Journal: Where and how is God emptying you of yourself, in order to fill you with himself?

Reflection:

     emptying

there is an emptying

that comes from God

a profound deepening

meant to hollow out

space within you

that only he can fill

so do not be hasty to

grasp at the first thing

that comes along

in an effort to fill the void

lest you miss the gift

he is trying to give

that void might actually

be there for a reason

Prayer

Closing Prayer: Lord, I am stripped bare of all things, as you alone can strip us bare, whose fearful care nothing escapes, nor your terrible love. —The Diary of a Country Priest by Georges Bernanos

pass through

Opening Prayer: O Lord, this life is such a pilgrimage, help me to always keep moving toward you no matter what.  Give me the strength and wisdom and perseverance, when I get stuck, to keep on walking, to keep pressing on toward you.  Give me faith when I need to believe, grace when I need to forgive, and courage when I need to let go.  Help me to go from strength to strength until I appear before you in Zion.  Amen. 

Scripture: Psalm 84:5-7

Journal: What is the Valley of Weeping for you these days?  Are you stuck there?  Are you trying to pass through?  How?  Are you refusing?  What would it look like to make the Valley of Weeping into a place of springs?

Reflection: “Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.  As they pass through the Valley of Weeping, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.  They go from strength to strength until each appears before God in Zion.” (Psalm 84:5-7)

You can stay there, in the Valley of Weeping, if you want to, but it is only as you pass through the valley that you make it a place of springs.  Eventually you have to work your way through it, or you will be stuck in the Valley of Weeping forever.  It’s really up to you.  Avoiding or denying or refusing only assures that you will never pass through it and come out the other side.

This life is a pilgrimage; you must keep going in order to arrive at your glorious destination.  At some point you must leave the Valley of Weeping behind and press on to the land of promise.  So, pass through, don’t pitch your tent.  Don’t take up residence in such a miserable place.  Don’t set up shop; pass through.  The place of springs is only possible if you are willing to pass through.  Don’t let the Valley of Weeping hold you hostage; pass through.

Prayer

Closing Prayer: O Lord, in life with you there is no way out, only through.  Give me the strength and the grace and the courage to pass through.  Amen

abide

Opening Prayer: Lord Jesus, you are the vine, and we are the branches, never let us forget that.  Forgive us when we try to manufacture and produce what can only be grown by abiding in you.  Help us to learn how to do that.  Amen.

Scripture: John 15:4-5

Journal: What is the difference between fruitfulness and productivity?  Where and how are you trying to produce fruit in your life or ministry?  How will you shift to abiding rather than trying?

Reflection: “Abide in me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.  I am the vine; you are the branches.  Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:4-5)

The key to a fruitful life and ministry is not activism but abiding.  It is not incessant activity but prayer.  Unless we move from autonomy to obedience, from independence to dependence, and from control to surrender we can never hope to bear the fruit that Jesus designed us to bear—that only comes by abiding. 

And abiding is not as much about trying, as it is about joining.  It is being joined to the very life of God in a profoundly intimate way.  It is allowing the life of God to flow in and then through us.  Thus, it is not something we can produce or manufacture, but something that must be grown organically.

Prayer

Closing Prayer: Help us, Lord Jesus, to stop trying and start abiding, because that is the only way fruit is going to grow.  Amen.

absolute surrender

Opening Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you that you were willing to die for me.  Help me to have the courage and the strength and the grace to do the same—to be willing to die to whatever it is that keeps me from being fully yours.  Amen.

Scripture: John 21:18-19

Journal: What is God inviting you to in this season of Lent?  How is he asking you to come and die with him?  What needs to die in you in order that something beautiful might be born?

Reflection: “I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”  Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God.  Then he said to him, “Follow me!” (John 21:18-19)

There is a shift necessary if we truly want to follow Jesus.  It is a shift that’s as demanding as it is unavoidable.  It is the shift from autonomy to obedience, the shift from independence to dependence, the shift from clenched fists to outstretched hands, the shift from leading to being led.  It is ultimately the shift from control to absolute surrender.

That is the invitation of Lent, the season where we are invited by Jesus to “come and die, that I might raise you to new life.”  Which makes the real question of the season: What needs to die in me in order for something beautiful to be born?

Prayer

Closing Prayer: Lord, you know me better than I know myself.  Your Spirit pervades every moment of my life.  Thank you for the grace and love you shower on me.  Thank you for your constant, gentle invitation to let you into my life.  Forgive me for the times I have refused that invitation, and have closed myself off from you.  Help me in the day(s) to come, to recognize your presence in my life, to open myself to you, to let you work in me, to your greater glory.  Amen. ~St. Ignatius

the story i'm telling myself

Opening Prayer: O Lord, help me to believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful it may be. ~Macrina Wiederkehr

Scripture: John 8:31-32

Journal: What is the story you are telling yourself these days?  What are the false narratives that hold you captive?  How will you allow the truth to set you free?

Reflection: “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32, ESV)

“Don’t let the false narratives keep you at their mercy.  The story you are telling yourself is rarely the story that’s actually true.”  That was the message from my time with Jesus this morning. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about false narratives, those I live by and those that I allow to hold me captive.  The lies I’ve bought into about myself, my world, and even my God, that make me the absolute worst version of myself.  They make me fearful and anxious and insecure.  They make me busy and driven and manipulative.  They call me to acquire and compare and compete.  They tell me I need to earn and achieve and perform, all in hopes of convincing myself and my world that I am actually worthy of being loved.  And until I realize that I am already loved, and therefore of infinite value and worth, I will never really be able to love anyone else.  I will be too busy trying to extort and manipulate love out of them. 

I don't know what your false narratives tell you, but mine tell me I am not enough—not talented enough, not gifted enough, not skilled enough, not smart enough, not attractive enough, etc.  And they tell me I suck: I suck as a writer, I suck as a worker, I suck as a son, I suck as a husband, I suck as a dad, I suck as a friend, I suck as a man, I suck as an everything.  

When I am believing these lies, they cause me to interpret everything in light them—which is actually oh so dark.  In turn, this causes me to create narratives for others that do not exist and assign motives that are simply not true, which just reinforces the lies I believe about myself and my world, only making them stronger.  It is a downward spiral that is impossible to pull out of unless Jesus—the way the truth and the life—intervenes.  When I let these voices control and consume me, my neediness and fear and insecurity rule the day.  It’s astounding, and more than a little baffling, that I give these voices the free rein that I do.

Then Jesus comes along and tells me the truth: “You are seen, you are known, and you are deeply loved.  You are of infinite value and worth and do not have to do anything to prove it.  You don’t have to do anything to justify your existence.  You don’t need others to give you your value and your identity because I have already done that.  Let my love be the basis and the foundation for everything you do.  Don’t let the false narratives hold you hostage, I came to tell you the truth.  Abide in my word and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.  For if you are not free, it means that you are believing something that is not true.  So stop listening to the lies and start believing the truth.”

 Prayer

 Closing Prayer: Lord Jesus, save me from myself.  Let your love and your grace and your truth define and determine me.  Free me from the lies I believe and help me to constantly abide in your truth.  Amen.

treasure me

Opening Prayer: Lord Jesus, you don’t ask for some, you demand all.  You want all of our energy, all of our attention, and all of our affection.  Help us to never give to others, that which belongs only to you.

Scripture: Mark 10:17-22

Journal: What is your treasure these days?  What consumes most of your time, attention, and energy?  What is the “one thing you lack” as you try to give all to Jesus?

Reflection: “One thing you lack.  Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have a treasure in heaven.  Then come, follow me.” (Mark 10:21)

One thing you lack.  In fact, the very first one.  The first commandment: “You shall have no other gods before me.”  I must be your one thing.  I must be your treasure.  Let go of whatever you treasure most, in order to treasure me above all else.  Whatever the currency of your life is, whatever (or whoever) occupies that first place, let it go and follow me.  There is no other way to the life you seek.  Treasure me.

Prayer

Closing Prayer: Be my treasure, Lord Jesus, today and every day.  Amen.